There are many ways of thinking about the design of a ceremony. Simplicity may be the heart of your desire... Two individuals stand together by the shores of the lake and speak spontaneously of their love for one another. The celebrant calls on the spirit of love and nature to bless the union. Wine is shared, a poem is recited, and the ceremony is over.
You may also feel the need to include family and friends, honor a religious tradition, or make a statement about deeply held personal convictions..... Encircled by friends and family, the couple light candles representing their vows while selected passages from sacred texts invoke the spirit of equality and harmony in the marriage.
Some view the wedding as a ritual for two, while others embrace the event as an affirmation which requires community for its completion.... A dozen friends encircle the bride and groom. One by one they are asked to stand as witness to the union and bring their special quality as a gift to the ceremony. Parental blessings are sought and given, and the couple gift each other with song and poetry in the midst of a garland of spring flowers.
Wedding Traditions . . .
The yearning for ritual is a natural intuition for humans. It is sometimes possible to revisit historic forms of wedding ceremonies and find new life in them, or use them to imagine new variations on an old theme. Other cultural forms of ceremony may fit your feeling more accurately than a Judeo-Christian tradition.
In contemplating the appropriate form for your wedding, you might reflect on the variety of historical elements found in nearly all wedding customs around the world:
•The Processional
•The Attendants or Witnesses
•Music, Poetry & Song
•Symbolic Union
•Joining of the Hands
•The Wedding Vows
•Exchange of Rings or Gifts
•The Blessing
•The Kiss
Each of these elements has a fascinating history behind it for you to consider and make over into something that speaks for your heart and mind.
CEREMONY TEMPLATE
Setting the scene: the opening ambiance, the tone, color, mood.. What is the space that the guests will be in? (setting) What will they be looking at? (decorations/flowers) What will they be hearing? (pre-ceremonial music) Will the honored elders be ushered in and given special seating? Who will be greeting guests as they arrive? Will there be a guest book to sign? Something to carry into the ceremony? A printed Order-of-Service?
[These first four elements are in necessary order, though much personalizing can be done.]
Call to Attention:.. drawing the focus.. How will you alert guests that the ceremony is about to begin? Change of music/lighting/scenery/gong/bells/vocalist/entrance of minister/silence?
Processional: entrance of the supporting and main characters in the sacred drama... Will there be traditional figures: the flower girls (youthful innocence), ring bearer, attendants (those who literally and metaphorically "stand up" for you)? Is the couple leaving the bosom of their childhood families; hence the need for symbolic departure - "giving away" - or are they already independent adults, giving a graceful nod or embrace of appreciation to parents? Was there a significant person who brought the couple together? Music is the ideal container for gathering the joyful energies at this moment. Choose something that really has deep significance for you.
Welcome: the celebrant/minister gives voice to the unspoken energies- proclaiming this "time-out-of-time", dividing the sacred from the profane, opening the way for hearts and minds to be fully present and participatory, setting all at ease...
Setting Sacred Space: symbolic gesture, made tangible by making it visual - delineation of sacred space may take many forms: closing of the doors, lighting of the candles, spreading of the petals, ringing of the bell, laying of a circle of flowers, sprinkling the ground with water, salt or earth, calling in the four directions, invoking the spirits, etc.
[The next four elements can be re-arranged or interpreted in many different ways]
The Word: readings of favorite poetry, literature, original verse, prayers, lyrics - sung or spoken - tributes from friends or family members. You may want several readings or songs interspersed with the following segments.
The Image: Centering metaphor of relationship made visible: Bringing of individual flame into shared Fire (lighting of unity candle); Partner for life's joys and sorrows (sharing of the wine, the bitter and the sweet); Companion for life's Journey (breaking the bread together); Binding of two souls (tying of the hands with golden cloth); the Harmony of two souls (joining in shared song); Commitment as Covenant (signing of names on parchment or in a holy book); Marriage as Building of shared life (stepping over a threshold or under a canopy or into a circle of ribbon, flowers); Sacred Union as organic (planting seeds in shared container)...
The Blessing: Sharing of thanks to and from the couple and their family and friends; offering of roses to the parents; exchanging of the First Gift; song of blessing from guests to couple; tribute to the ancestors, including family members recently departed whose memory is important to this occasion; kiss of Peace from Wedding Party to guests; offering to the land or the spirits; [If there are children from a former marriage, this is an ideal time to bring them forward for a special set of vows and acknowledgment of the new family they will become!]
The Reflection: a chance for the minister to reflect back to the couple the impressions gained about them during conversation; words of wisdom, challenge, encouragement.
[The last four elements work best - for dramatic reasons - if followed in this order, though variations can be done.]
The Vows: Fashioned by the couple to be most expressive of their own beliefs and aspirations (see website pages for ideas) Vows can be memorized and recited to each other; read from the minister's book; repeated line by line after the minister, or offered spontaneously - from the heart and in the moment!
The Rings: If rings (or some other permanent token) are exchanged, the minister can say a few words about the symbolism of the ring/token and its particular meaning for the couple; if rings are not exchanged, the couple join hands while the minister gives the benediction.
The Benediction: The benediction can be silent, or can be a prayer/poem which best expresses the hopes of the new couple, and the power they call upon (from within or without, natural or divinely transcendent) to grace their union..
The Pronouncement: The words of the pronouncement simply proclaim them to be husband and wife / life partners / true companions / beloved witnesses .. and the first married kiss then follows.
The Recessional: The energy which has been building throughout the service needs to be released in joy. This can be accomplished in many ways. There is a natural tendency for guests to want to burst into applause upon seeing the couple kiss - this is a fine ending; like a burst of thunder and rain as the clouds part. A similar outpouring of emotion can be channeled through the ringing of small bells and chimes (which each guest has been given at the beginning of the ceremony) or the blowing of bubbles, release of balloons, doves, butterflies, etc. or, the desire to applaud can be held at bay long enough for the minister (or someone else) to say: Will the guests please rise and welcome the new couple! Then the cheering begins!
[Postlude music as the guests leave the ceremony grounds and move towards the reception.]
Please click on any of these tiles to get more ideas for your wedding!
CEREMONIES CHICAGO
Your Wedding! Your Way!with Rev. Rebecca ArmstrongFine Arts Building410 S. Michigan Ave.Suite 940 ~ Chicago, ILceremonies@aol.com
